Practice Practice Practice

For months and months I struggled getting my head off the the floor in Urdva Kukkutasana A (the pose you see above). With help I could do it but I felt a pounding in my chest sending me the signal that I was afraid or just too excited to be calm enough to allow this pose to happen. It showed up this week. Woobly and awkward here it is. Why now? What made this posture appear this week? Was it the physical work or the spiritual/ energetic work? Or perhaps I simply on a deep sub conscious level decided to trust myself and stop being afraid. In order to do this I had to give up many stories "I am not strong enough", "This pose isn't for me", "Everyone else is stronger than me, its a better pose for them", "I am going to hurt myself and be in pain", "Why does it matter if I can do this pose or not" are just a few statements I wrestled with. As many times as I was tempted to give up I decided to keep practicing, forcing myself to practice failure within this pose for months and months. I received so much amazing advice, love and support from my ashtanga community. Frustration turned to anger, turned to defeat, turned to fight, turned to humor, laughter and finally surrender.

Over these months I have examined those reactions and statements and how they control my life. This is where the work of Yoga gets translated to everyday and this is why I practice these poses. I want to feel physically challenged because it allows me to see what surfaces when I am confronted with something hard. Through the discipline of Yoga, I slowly but surely heal myself of subconscious habits that no longer serve me. Ways of thinking that stop me from stepping out in the world to make a difference for myself, my community and my family. How many times have I convinced myself I am small and weak? How many opportunities have I passed up because other people are better at that task than I am? How often do I protect myself from going out there and being outspoken about what I believe because others opinions may hurt me? and How many times have I convinced myself that it doesn't matter?

I have learned that all of these statements may come up. But if I challenge myself and practice my task with the same discipline I bring to my daily Yoga practice anything is possible. And those thoughts... well.... they are just thought, nothing more.

If you are feeling stuck try...

  1. Set a Goal (a challenging goal that might be a little scary, doesn't need to be yoga)
  2. Find a coach or someone to hold you accountable (don't do this alone, be coachable)
  3. Make a plan and set aside time to accomplish that goal (a daily practice)
  4. Keep track of what comes up to block your ability to accomplish that goal. (what does your brain tell you, does your body refuse to get out of bed, do you get distracted by social media or other tasks, do you get to busy and create new priorities)
  5. If you stop moving towards the goal conquer those distractions and start again.
  6. Be patient. This goal may take days, weeks, months, or even years.
  7. Let go of your attachment to the end result, keep practicing and enjoy the ride.

If you choose to take this on. Please comment I would love to hear what the goals you are setting are and how you plan to accomplish them.

Do your Practice and All is coming.- Pattabhi Jois

Blue Pill/ Red Pill? (Are you ready to really know what you are made of?)

I have been thinking about Energy a lot these days.   What is Energy to you?  So many people have asked me lately what it means to be an “Energy Worker”.  

Good question…. 


Here is a brief over simplified explanation.  Keep in mind I am not a scientist…..

Lets start by breaking us down into the smallest elements scientists have been able to observe, Quarks and Photons. These are what make up atoms and atoms are what make up the structures of Cells, including our DNA.   Our DNA is the unique complicated code that exists in the nucleus of every cell in our body. Our DNA defines everything about us.  

Through Quantum Physics, scientists have observed that Quarks and Photons are not made up of matter, they are Energy.   There is vast amounts of space between these energies.  These energies are always moving!  So….if the smallest observable elements of our makeup are energies that means….


That said, we are never still, our atoms are always moving.  The image that we are mass/ solid is what our minds create us to be.   Meaning “We believe we are matter so we experience ourselves as matter”.

When we start to see ourselves as energetic beings, we can start to see how important it is to surround ourselves with supporting Energies.  Energy is easily altered and changed.  In fact, observation can be one of the most powerful ways to change energies.  Our thoughts send signals to our body via Neurons that have been observed to be less dense with negative thinking and more dense with positive thinking.

How do these energies communicate?

You don’t question that your iPhone needs energy to function and that you can pull up any information you want by connecting to an invisible web.  An iPhone doesn’t work without a charge and a network, and neither do we.   We are always receiving information through our senses consciously and unconsciously.

Vastly more complex than an iPhone,  We are surrounded by energies that support and deplete us.  Our interactions with other people, the food we eat, the music we listen to, the lighting in our environment and the thoughts of our community are just a few external sources that constantly feed or pull energy from our system.  Our nervous system effectively manages how we process that energy and how that energy is allocated in our bodies.  All the systems in our bodies are constantly trying to protect us from unhealthy or dangerous energies.

This is where energy work comes in.  My job is to allow your body to be balanced and healthy.  By observing the state of your body as a whole unit,  I use Reiki, Yoga, Crystals, Scents, Music, Observation, Conversation and various other techniques to convince your body to make decisions that allow it to adapt to our ever-changing environments.  Too often, our bodies are misjudging new situations as dangerous, and jumping into protection mode causing discomfort and sickness.  When we stop listening to our bodies, we ignore the distress signals until our body has to scream at us in pain.

Keep in mind, that pharmaceuticals are also energies that can shift disease and pain and are very important vehicles for that.  I have no intention of replacing your physician.  In fact I prefer to enhance and improve upon the effectiveness of what your Doctor is already doing for you.  I will say though, during my time working in Pharmaceuticals every drug I worked on was at least 65% placebo effective.  What does that mean?  That means that the mind needs to think that it is receiving something to heal the body, in order for the body to find healthy balance.    Studies have even shown that subjects who receive placebo and know they are receiving placebo still have powerful healing responses to the treatment.   

We are powerful adaptable beings but our environment is changing faster than we can evolve.   As a community of human lifeforms with a collective "Intelligent Energy" we can be healthy and happy in this new world we create day by day. 


Ishvara Pranidhana/ Surrender

What does the word Surrender mean to you?  At this point in my life and yoga practice, Surrender means having faith that whatever happens is meant to be.  I am letting go of what I can’t control. This too shall pass good or bad.

Surrender means moving forward, when called to do so, even though some Yoga poses seem so daunting.  Having faith in the Practice and allowing my body to grow stronger with time and (for now) allowing myself to fail over and over again.

Surrender as a mom is accepting my children are sometimes completely independent and other times still needy.  Doing my best to bud out and allow them to have their own experiences and learn from their own individual journeys.  Just like my practice allowing them to be challenged with tasks that seem overwhelming and offer them the opportunity to succeed or fail on their own terms.

These days this practice has tested my patience. The ability to take a beat and be patient is so hard when I have no idea how things are going to work out or whats next.  I am not a perfect Yogi and certainly not a perfect mom but I remind myself its a practice from day to day minute by minute. Ishvara Pranidhana. 

Traveling By Cartwheel

A few weeks ago my family went to the beach and my kids began to play with the other kids on the beach.  As the children would travel back and forth to their parents individual beach encampments, one little girl caught my eye.  I noticed that while the other kids ran or walked or skipped to their parents her chosen mode of transportation was via Cartwheel.

I was a kid who traveled by Cartwheel and sometimes I still get the urge and imagine myself Cartwheeling across a room or in the park.   I never took gymnastics (although I really wanted to) and I never got into any bigger tricks (maybe a roundoff once in a while) but I loved the feeling of going upside down.  For a long time as an adult I forgot about this part of myself.   I no longer travel by Cartwheel but I do spend time everyday upside down. 

For me going upside down provides a new perspective.  When life feels hard or overwhelming I can easily change my mood by going upside down and then life feels so much less serious.   As an adult going upside down is a fast way for me to feel a moment of joy and lightness.  Standing on my hands reminds be that I am strong, balanced, whole and complete.  Standing on my head calms my mind and stops limiting thoughts.  Of course there are so many physiological and physical benefits of going upside down when you are a healthy person but for me what it boils down to is…  going upside down is fun and it makes me happy.